Homers

The best thing about watching NHL's Center Ice package is getting to hear the crappy announcing teams you normally never know anything about.

After watching Calgary beat Colorado tonight, and sitting through 2/3 of the Avalanche feed, I'm hard pressed to say who's worse, Buffalo's play by play guy or the guy who works the 'lanche games.

Man, I thought John Sterling's radio work for the Yankee was pompous.

Mike Haynes as Colorado gains the Calgary zone: "Here comes STAAAAATSNY shot goes wide"

Mike Haynes as Colorado chips the puck into the corner: "Sakic WITH A SHOOOOOTTTTT that's blocked in front"

Why do these guys scream every single action? It's the second week of October, isn't it? I know, I know...."every game is important", but come on.

Say whatever you want about a Bob Cole or Jim Hughson, but they're much easier to listen to. Hell, Bob Miller is a better example of how to do it right. Haynes and Rick Jeanneret are just brutal on so many levels. Do you need to go to school for this? I can scream into a microphone every time the Rangers charge up ice with the puck and be just as good.

"OH MY GOD HERE COMES STAAL HE GOT THE PUCK ACROSS CENTER ICE!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, DRURY JUST HIT THE SIDE OF THE NET AND ALMOST GAVE THE RANGERS A THREE GOAL LEAD!! YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAARGGGGGH!!!!"

I can even patent a yeti mating call to punctuate goals being scored.

Bleagh. I need to dump some hydrogen peroxide into my ears to stop the bleeding.