Who the hell scheduled Rangers-Islanders on election night??
The good news: according to fivethirtyeight.com, if Obama wins Indiana, he's most likely got the election locked up. Exit polls too close to call.
Unfortunately, there's no data on how many goals the Rangers will score on that kid from Dennis the Menace tonight. I'm betting six hundred goals in the first period, and hoping Valiquette stays nailed to the bench so he doesn't allow six hundred and one goals in the final six minutes.
No, I'm not bitter about Saturday, why do you ask?
In other news, Fatso will miss 3-4 months with elbow surgery. Terry Sawchuk and Patrick Roy laugh. So do I.
I wish I had two TVs to keep an eye on the game and the election.
Oh wait. I'm at work. I've got 14 TVs to watch!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Jessiman going to Music City...
...for future consideration.
Adios, Huge Bustiman. I'll always look at you and think of what coulda been.
And by that I mean Dustin Brown, Zach Parise, Ryan Getzlaf, Mike Richards, or anyone else taken after you in the first round who actually made it to the NHL.
Oh, and Rich Huffam is still a welching douchebag.
Adios, Huge Bustiman. I'll always look at you and think of what coulda been.
And by that I mean Dustin Brown, Zach Parise, Ryan Getzlaf, Mike Richards, or anyone else taken after you in the first round who actually made it to the NHL.
Oh, and Rich Huffam is still a welching douchebag.
After two periods.....
Rangers and Thrashers still tied at 1. Naslund's power play goal is waved off.
And Rich Huffman is still a welching scumbag. Go figure.
And Rich Huffman is still a welching scumbag. Go figure.
In happier news....
Rangers-Thrashers are 1-1 after 1. Aside from a Colton Orr-Eric Boulton fight that was pretty solid, not much else to report right now.
Oh, Gerry Cosby has re-opened. Just in case you feel the urge to drop $300 on a hockey jersey or anything.
I know I would, if that idiot Rich Huffam paid out my winnings.
Oh, Gerry Cosby has re-opened. Just in case you feel the urge to drop $300 on a hockey jersey or anything.
I know I would, if that idiot Rich Huffam paid out my winnings.
Rich Huffam is a welching douchebag
So I won my fantasy baseball league last month by a large margin, and because I paid in late (I was asked to join four hours before the draft), the commissioner of the league, a semi-retarded Oak Bluffs cop named Rich Huffam has decided to withhold payment until such time as he deems acceptable, to 'balance things out' as he claims.
I'll spare you the details, but let's just say that after asking for four months, I was finally told who to give my money to. This after I'd already locked up first place (by 33 games, no less). Rich, on the other hand, tumbled from second place to sixth in the final weeks of the season, and was bounced from the playoffs quickly. Think the poor Red Sawx fan has a bruised ego?
How does he explain that to his buddies? "Yeah, those Yankee fans are all dumb, man....shit, this one guy was in my fantasy league, and he was so stupid he destroyed me in head to head matchups by an aggregate 19-9, and then beat the hell out of everyone else and won the league handily."
A childish reaction to getting demolished for six months? Yep.
A sad statement on his maturity? Oh yeah.
Pathetic? Without question.
Rich, you're a piece of shit. And I mean that sincerely.
I'll spare you the details, but let's just say that after asking for four months, I was finally told who to give my money to. This after I'd already locked up first place (by 33 games, no less). Rich, on the other hand, tumbled from second place to sixth in the final weeks of the season, and was bounced from the playoffs quickly. Think the poor Red Sawx fan has a bruised ego?
How does he explain that to his buddies? "Yeah, those Yankee fans are all dumb, man....shit, this one guy was in my fantasy league, and he was so stupid he destroyed me in head to head matchups by an aggregate 19-9, and then beat the hell out of everyone else and won the league handily."
A childish reaction to getting demolished for six months? Yep.
A sad statement on his maturity? Oh yeah.
Pathetic? Without question.
Rich, you're a piece of shit. And I mean that sincerely.
Monday, October 27, 2008
In-game update
***UPDATE*** 4-1. This is just too funny for words. Drury on a 5 on 3 power play. Most of the third period has been spent in the home team's zone, with predictable results.
On the ensuing 5 on 4 four minute minor (3:25 remaining after the faceoff) Richard Park breaks in shorthanded, and Dan Girardi does something I've never seen: he lets Park get a step on him, skates around to Park's left side, and swats the puck away with his stick. It's been said so many times before, but he's just that damned good.
Rangers 3, North York Storm Pee Wee C Team 1 in the third period.
Didn't they used to have a professional team on Long Island?
What is Doug Weight thinking at this point?
Joey McDonald....bahahahahahahahaha...this is what happens when you let the kid from Dennis the Menace play goal.
On the ensuing 5 on 4 four minute minor (3:25 remaining after the faceoff) Richard Park breaks in shorthanded, and Dan Girardi does something I've never seen: he lets Park get a step on him, skates around to Park's left side, and swats the puck away with his stick. It's been said so many times before, but he's just that damned good.
Rangers 3, North York Storm Pee Wee C Team 1 in the third period.
Didn't they used to have a professional team on Long Island?
What is Doug Weight thinking at this point?
Joey McDonald....bahahahahahahahaha...this is what happens when you let the kid from Dennis the Menace play goal.
When is a hit not a hit?
So yeah, the Rangers beat Columbus and Pittsburgh (scoring with eight seconds left in the game to tie it, no less), but I'm a little irritated right now.
And it's all the Islanders' fault.
No, it's not Rick DiPietro. He's just sad and pathetic and continually injured and not worth mentioning and likely not playing tonight. Dammit, too late to not mention it now.
I'm talking about Doug Weight's hit on Brandon Sutter Saturday night and the idiotic outrage it's caused.
Sutter comes through the neutral zone and puts his head down and crouches as he skates. Weight hits him clean and hard.
If Sutter is skating upright this isn't an issue.
Eric Lindros did this continually, and it's one of the reasons Scott Stevens (among others) used him as a throw pillow throughout the latter stages of his career.
You skate with your head down, or crouched over, and if somebody hits you, a shoulder to chest hit becomes....well....shoulder to skull.
Some of the thirty-seven Hurricanes fans are screeching for hits like this to be outlawed. That's probably because they're still new to hockey.
This is a contact sport. People get hit. If people skate with their head down, when they get hit, it's worse.
This is not a difficult concept to understand. These aren't Gordie Howe or Mark Messier elbows to the side of the jaw (hi Jamie Macoun!). We're talking open ice hits, which some people are now clammoring to outlaw, to give us a great, hit-free brand of hockey.
Maybe the next uniform changes the NHL tries out can be something like this.
Because if we're going to cry about banning open ice hits, why not also stop....oh....leaving your feet when you throw an open ice hit?
Wait a minute....that wasn't Brandon Sutter in that video, was it?
And it's all the Islanders' fault.
No, it's not Rick DiPietro. He's just sad and pathetic and continually injured and not worth mentioning and likely not playing tonight. Dammit, too late to not mention it now.
I'm talking about Doug Weight's hit on Brandon Sutter Saturday night and the idiotic outrage it's caused.
Sutter comes through the neutral zone and puts his head down and crouches as he skates. Weight hits him clean and hard.
If Sutter is skating upright this isn't an issue.
Eric Lindros did this continually, and it's one of the reasons Scott Stevens (among others) used him as a throw pillow throughout the latter stages of his career.
You skate with your head down, or crouched over, and if somebody hits you, a shoulder to chest hit becomes....well....shoulder to skull.
Some of the thirty-seven Hurricanes fans are screeching for hits like this to be outlawed. That's probably because they're still new to hockey.
This is a contact sport. People get hit. If people skate with their head down, when they get hit, it's worse.
This is not a difficult concept to understand. These aren't Gordie Howe or Mark Messier elbows to the side of the jaw (hi Jamie Macoun!). We're talking open ice hits, which some people are now clammoring to outlaw, to give us a great, hit-free brand of hockey.
Maybe the next uniform changes the NHL tries out can be something like this.
Because if we're going to cry about banning open ice hits, why not also stop....oh....leaving your feet when you throw an open ice hit?
Wait a minute....that wasn't Brandon Sutter in that video, was it?
Monday, October 20, 2008
Catching up
Missed posting the last couple of Ranger games....to recap:
Wednesday 10/15 - Ranges lose to Buffalo, perfect season comes to an end - A sloppy effort, a long stretch without a shot on goal, and a five minute major to Paul Mara ensured their first loss of the season last night. Mara jumped Pat Kaleta, the same guy who'd hit him last season and done all the damage to his lovely mug. Kaleta apparently made some comment in a scrum, asking how his face was. Bad as the penalty was, it's hard to blame Mara for jumping him. Nobody seemed too upset by it, either.
Friday 10/17 - Rangers beat Toronto in a shootout - No Avery, no Tucker, Valiquette in net (hey, it rhymes!)...hard to believe this was a 0-0 game that needed Sure Hands Sjostrom to win it in the shootout (and by sure hands I mean sure to miss the net). Toronto is going to be pretty terrible this year. Man, if it was tough being a Leafs fan before....
Saturday 10/18 - That damned Hossa guy again - There's an old saying...some days you get the bear, some days the bear gets you. On Saturday night the bear came out and swatted the Rangers, only to slowly be put into a choke hold and almost put down, before waking up and eating the Rangers late.
A terrible analogy, I know. But after watching the defense stand around in the first minute of the game and the first minute of overtime.....
Tonight, Sean Avery returns to Broadway. What's he thinking about coming back to New York? Who knows? He's got a media blackout thing going, although watching the pre-game right now, he's skating at center ice yapping at Brandon Dubinsky.
They know his tactics. They shared a locker room with him. Do they take the bait?
Wednesday 10/15 - Ranges lose to Buffalo, perfect season comes to an end - A sloppy effort, a long stretch without a shot on goal, and a five minute major to Paul Mara ensured their first loss of the season last night. Mara jumped Pat Kaleta, the same guy who'd hit him last season and done all the damage to his lovely mug. Kaleta apparently made some comment in a scrum, asking how his face was. Bad as the penalty was, it's hard to blame Mara for jumping him. Nobody seemed too upset by it, either.
Friday 10/17 - Rangers beat Toronto in a shootout - No Avery, no Tucker, Valiquette in net (hey, it rhymes!)...hard to believe this was a 0-0 game that needed Sure Hands Sjostrom to win it in the shootout (and by sure hands I mean sure to miss the net). Toronto is going to be pretty terrible this year. Man, if it was tough being a Leafs fan before....
Saturday 10/18 - That damned Hossa guy again - There's an old saying...some days you get the bear, some days the bear gets you. On Saturday night the bear came out and swatted the Rangers, only to slowly be put into a choke hold and almost put down, before waking up and eating the Rangers late.
A terrible analogy, I know. But after watching the defense stand around in the first minute of the game and the first minute of overtime.....
Tonight, Sean Avery returns to Broadway. What's he thinking about coming back to New York? Who knows? He's got a media blackout thing going, although watching the pre-game right now, he's skating at center ice yapping at Brandon Dubinsky.
They know his tactics. They shared a locker room with him. Do they take the bait?
Friday, October 17, 2008
The best kind of workout
My wife picked me up from work tonight and pointed out the gas gauge was fairly close to the bottom line of empty. I figured let's go for it, we should have enough to get through the Battery Tunnel and right off at Hamilton Avenue for gas.
So, of course, we run out of gas about halfway through the tunnel.
You ever stop your car inside a tunnel? Especially when one tube is closed, and the other is running one lane going each way?
Doing my husbandly duty, I got out of the car, she put the car in neutral (I drive a Charger, by the way), and I started pushing the damned thing through the tunnel on the uphill swing, all the while wishing I'd bought a Volkswagon.
After about two hundred feet I thought I was going to collapse, and luckily the guy behind us offered to push us the rest of the way. He was either being compassionate or tired of going three miles an hour. Or he had a premonition of me dropping dead in front of him, and his commute being completely destroyed. Either way, thank you, whoever you are.
Once out of the tunnel we were pulled to the side and hooked up to a tow truck, which dropped us on Hamilton Avenue right outside the tunnel. Once again, the wife put the car in neutral and I pushed it the remaining two hundred feet to the gas station, while another tow truck followed us, then looped around once we reached the gas station and gave me a final push to get up and over the curb.
Forty dollars of gas later and we were on our way.
All in all it was a hell of a cardio workout, but I don't recommend sucking in tunnel fumes. I think my lungs are seriously pissed off at me right now.
But, as I explained to my wife, this was one of those tests of your manhood. You really can't consider yourself a man's man until you've pushed a car to a gas station....and felt your legs turn to jelly when pushing uphill.
Man up? Mission accomplished!
So, of course, we run out of gas about halfway through the tunnel.
You ever stop your car inside a tunnel? Especially when one tube is closed, and the other is running one lane going each way?
Doing my husbandly duty, I got out of the car, she put the car in neutral (I drive a Charger, by the way), and I started pushing the damned thing through the tunnel on the uphill swing, all the while wishing I'd bought a Volkswagon.
After about two hundred feet I thought I was going to collapse, and luckily the guy behind us offered to push us the rest of the way. He was either being compassionate or tired of going three miles an hour. Or he had a premonition of me dropping dead in front of him, and his commute being completely destroyed. Either way, thank you, whoever you are.
Once out of the tunnel we were pulled to the side and hooked up to a tow truck, which dropped us on Hamilton Avenue right outside the tunnel. Once again, the wife put the car in neutral and I pushed it the remaining two hundred feet to the gas station, while another tow truck followed us, then looped around once we reached the gas station and gave me a final push to get up and over the curb.
Forty dollars of gas later and we were on our way.
All in all it was a hell of a cardio workout, but I don't recommend sucking in tunnel fumes. I think my lungs are seriously pissed off at me right now.
But, as I explained to my wife, this was one of those tests of your manhood. You really can't consider yourself a man's man until you've pushed a car to a gas station....and felt your legs turn to jelly when pushing uphill.
Man up? Mission accomplished!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Homeward Bound
Today's Times Online in the UK has a story about US Sergeant Gwen Beberg and her efforts to be reunited with Ratchet, a dog she rescued while serving in Iraq.
The most chilling part of the article is this:
So far the programme claims to have facilitated the transfer to America of fifty dogs and six cats. Terry Crisp, of Operation Baghdad Pups, flew to Dubai yesterday and is due to arrive in the Iraqi capital tomorrow to speak to members of the military. “Iraqis view dogs and cats as rats, as nuisances, carriers of disease,” she said, noting that US soldiers had rescued many abused animals, such as a puppy that was being kicked by a circle of Iraqi men.
Operation Baghdad Pups was born last year to help soldiers bring these dogs back to the US to be reunited with the soldiers that saved them, but it's a very time consuming (and costly) process.
I donated $50 this morning, mostly because I'm a sucker for saving dogs, but also because it reminded me of a visit to Greece back in 2001. In the port of Katakolon, we stepped off a cruise ship and were met by a cute black lab mix, but were horrified when he turned around to follow us.
Instead of a tail, he had a mangled stump, partially grown over with hair and covered in scabs. One of the Costa cruise employees explained to us the dog had drawn the wrath over one of the locals, who used a machete to chop the dog's tail off, hoping it would leave him alone.
I still get sick to my stomach thinking about it.
People killing people I can understand on a certain level. People doing these kinds of things to dogs, though....there aren't enough tortures in the world that can be inflicted on these people to satisfy me.
If you can, please donate something to help these dogs today.
The most chilling part of the article is this:
So far the programme claims to have facilitated the transfer to America of fifty dogs and six cats. Terry Crisp, of Operation Baghdad Pups, flew to Dubai yesterday and is due to arrive in the Iraqi capital tomorrow to speak to members of the military. “Iraqis view dogs and cats as rats, as nuisances, carriers of disease,” she said, noting that US soldiers had rescued many abused animals, such as a puppy that was being kicked by a circle of Iraqi men.
Operation Baghdad Pups was born last year to help soldiers bring these dogs back to the US to be reunited with the soldiers that saved them, but it's a very time consuming (and costly) process.
I donated $50 this morning, mostly because I'm a sucker for saving dogs, but also because it reminded me of a visit to Greece back in 2001. In the port of Katakolon, we stepped off a cruise ship and were met by a cute black lab mix, but were horrified when he turned around to follow us.
Instead of a tail, he had a mangled stump, partially grown over with hair and covered in scabs. One of the Costa cruise employees explained to us the dog had drawn the wrath over one of the locals, who used a machete to chop the dog's tail off, hoping it would leave him alone.
I still get sick to my stomach thinking about it.
People killing people I can understand on a certain level. People doing these kinds of things to dogs, though....there aren't enough tortures in the world that can be inflicted on these people to satisfy me.
If you can, please donate something to help these dogs today.
Ok I take it back about Rick Jeanneret
I just looked up and listened to a few audio clips and he made me laugh. He gets a bump for that.
Fa-la-la-la-LaFontaine
More here.
Not quite Mike Lange, but at least he's comically homer-ish.
Mike Haynes still sucks.
Fa-la-la-la-LaFontaine
More here.
Not quite Mike Lange, but at least he's comically homer-ish.
Mike Haynes still sucks.
Homers
The best thing about watching NHL's Center Ice package is getting to hear the crappy announcing teams you normally never know anything about.
After watching Calgary beat Colorado tonight, and sitting through 2/3 of the Avalanche feed, I'm hard pressed to say who's worse, Buffalo's play by play guy or the guy who works the 'lanche games.
Man, I thought John Sterling's radio work for the Yankee was pompous.
Mike Haynes as Colorado gains the Calgary zone: "Here comes STAAAAATSNY shot goes wide"
Mike Haynes as Colorado chips the puck into the corner: "Sakic WITH A SHOOOOOTTTTT that's blocked in front"
Why do these guys scream every single action? It's the second week of October, isn't it? I know, I know...."every game is important", but come on.
Say whatever you want about a Bob Cole or Jim Hughson, but they're much easier to listen to. Hell, Bob Miller is a better example of how to do it right. Haynes and Rick Jeanneret are just brutal on so many levels. Do you need to go to school for this? I can scream into a microphone every time the Rangers charge up ice with the puck and be just as good.
"OH MY GOD HERE COMES STAAL HE GOT THE PUCK ACROSS CENTER ICE!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, DRURY JUST HIT THE SIDE OF THE NET AND ALMOST GAVE THE RANGERS A THREE GOAL LEAD!! YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAARGGGGGH!!!!"
I can even patent a yeti mating call to punctuate goals being scored.
Bleagh. I need to dump some hydrogen peroxide into my ears to stop the bleeding.
After watching Calgary beat Colorado tonight, and sitting through 2/3 of the Avalanche feed, I'm hard pressed to say who's worse, Buffalo's play by play guy or the guy who works the 'lanche games.
Man, I thought John Sterling's radio work for the Yankee was pompous.
Mike Haynes as Colorado gains the Calgary zone: "Here comes STAAAAATSNY shot goes wide"
Mike Haynes as Colorado chips the puck into the corner: "Sakic WITH A SHOOOOOTTTTT that's blocked in front"
Why do these guys scream every single action? It's the second week of October, isn't it? I know, I know...."every game is important", but come on.
Say whatever you want about a Bob Cole or Jim Hughson, but they're much easier to listen to. Hell, Bob Miller is a better example of how to do it right. Haynes and Rick Jeanneret are just brutal on so many levels. Do you need to go to school for this? I can scream into a microphone every time the Rangers charge up ice with the puck and be just as good.
"OH MY GOD HERE COMES STAAL HE GOT THE PUCK ACROSS CENTER ICE!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, DRURY JUST HIT THE SIDE OF THE NET AND ALMOST GAVE THE RANGERS A THREE GOAL LEAD!! YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAARGGGGGH!!!!"
I can even patent a yeti mating call to punctuate goals being scored.
Bleagh. I need to dump some hydrogen peroxide into my ears to stop the bleeding.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
You can't beat us!
Yes, we all know Fatso Brodeur is going to the Hall of Fame. We also know he liked his sister-in-law better than his wife. And, right now, we know that when it comes to the Rangers, Marty does indeed suck.
It was kind of tough to watch the game last night considering the death of Alexei Cherepanov earlier, but, as was mentioned during the pre-game, most of the Rangers players had little or no interaction with him, and thus knew him only by reputation.
Some quick game notes:
- Zherdev and Dubinsky break in two-on-one during the second period, and Nik the Stick passes to Dubinsky, who doesn't get off a clean shot. I like the play (even though he should have shot) because it shows a willingness to fit in. Don't worry, he'll be taking that shot before long. But this was a good sign that he's happy with his teammates and his head is in the game. For now.
- In my fantasy draft a couple of weeks ago I needed a defenseman, and my first three picks had been centers (I operated on the get-the-best-player-available strategy), and my pivots were/are Malkin, Spezza, and Lecavalier. So I took Kris Letang, and Brandon Dubinsky went right after. Worse, Ed Jovanovski was availble in round 20. How stupid is this going to be if Dubi is indeed on-track for a monster year?
- Wade Redden does not look smooth on his skates. Not one bit.
- I don't know how long Aaron Voros will continue piling up points, but let's enjoy it while we can. Gotta love the in-your-face celebration he gave after some post-goal pushing, very Avery-like.
Too bad the Giants couldn't go 5-0 on the same night. Now that would've been interesting.
Somebody posted video of Cherepanov being taken from the bench while he was still conscious on YouTube. It's creepy to watch, and I'm curious to see what the KHL investigation comes up with.
6-0 tomorrow against Buffalo? I don't know, the Sabres looked strong yesterday in their exhibition match against the North York Storm Pee Wee C team.....
On another note, Gary Bettman is still a tremendous tool. In a recent interview before the Canucks unleashed a ten shot barrage at the Capitals, Bettman stated that the NHL was still in "growth mode". Does this mean he wants to expand out to more cities? Sure, we need franchises in Kansas City, Houston, Las Vegas, and Albequerque. Why not just have 40 teams in the league? What's a little talent dillution among friends, anyway?
Our buddy Bettman also claimed they're looking at adding two additional regular season games, to bring the total up to 84. I'm telling you, the man is a genius. That's what the league needs, more NHL games in the regular season, to push back the start of the playoffs and hope that the playoffs end some time around the MLB All-Star game in July.
Absolute genius, I tells ya.
It was kind of tough to watch the game last night considering the death of Alexei Cherepanov earlier, but, as was mentioned during the pre-game, most of the Rangers players had little or no interaction with him, and thus knew him only by reputation.
Some quick game notes:
- Zherdev and Dubinsky break in two-on-one during the second period, and Nik the Stick passes to Dubinsky, who doesn't get off a clean shot. I like the play (even though he should have shot) because it shows a willingness to fit in. Don't worry, he'll be taking that shot before long. But this was a good sign that he's happy with his teammates and his head is in the game. For now.
- In my fantasy draft a couple of weeks ago I needed a defenseman, and my first three picks had been centers (I operated on the get-the-best-player-available strategy), and my pivots were/are Malkin, Spezza, and Lecavalier. So I took Kris Letang, and Brandon Dubinsky went right after. Worse, Ed Jovanovski was availble in round 20. How stupid is this going to be if Dubi is indeed on-track for a monster year?
- Wade Redden does not look smooth on his skates. Not one bit.
- I don't know how long Aaron Voros will continue piling up points, but let's enjoy it while we can. Gotta love the in-your-face celebration he gave after some post-goal pushing, very Avery-like.
Too bad the Giants couldn't go 5-0 on the same night. Now that would've been interesting.
Somebody posted video of Cherepanov being taken from the bench while he was still conscious on YouTube. It's creepy to watch, and I'm curious to see what the KHL investigation comes up with.
6-0 tomorrow against Buffalo? I don't know, the Sabres looked strong yesterday in their exhibition match against the North York Storm Pee Wee C team.....
On another note, Gary Bettman is still a tremendous tool. In a recent interview before the Canucks unleashed a ten shot barrage at the Capitals, Bettman stated that the NHL was still in "growth mode". Does this mean he wants to expand out to more cities? Sure, we need franchises in Kansas City, Houston, Las Vegas, and Albequerque. Why not just have 40 teams in the league? What's a little talent dillution among friends, anyway?
Our buddy Bettman also claimed they're looking at adding two additional regular season games, to bring the total up to 84. I'm telling you, the man is a genius. That's what the league needs, more NHL games in the regular season, to push back the start of the playoffs and hope that the playoffs end some time around the MLB All-Star game in July.
Absolute genius, I tells ya.
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